


Apokolips Christmas

by DCFanGuy



Category: Justice League - All Media Types
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:13:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28239015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DCFanGuy/pseuds/DCFanGuy
Summary: All Darkseid wants for Christmas is the Justice League at his mercy. Instead he’s inadvertently gifted a rather talkative mascot who tells him a story of a man quite similar to Darkseid himself. Elements of the old Justice League comics.





	1. Chapter 1

Apokolips didn’t really celebrate the concept of Christmas, not even when Uxas was a little boy and centuries from becoming the feared ruler that he was now. However it was a custom on a certain planet that Darkseid planned to annihilate and other worlds too seemed to have a variation on the custom as well.

In short: Darkseid was even more frustrated than usual. His children continued to disappoint him in ways he couldn’t describe, so he banished the lot of them to a different world that he wanted them to conquer. Truth be told, he just wanted them out of the way and instead of killing them, sending them off to be would be conquerors elsewhere was a mercy in disguise. 

Granny Goodness was still rounding up various prisoners and subjecting them to her own brutal regimes. She promised another set of Furies, more deadlier than the one she currently had but Darkseid wasn’t the least bit interested and told her to leave his sight at once. 

Steppenwolf was his usual snivelling self, promising fealty to his face but undoubtedly plotting behind his back. Darkseid countered this by sending Steppenwolf off on a fool’s errand to further humiliate him while Desaad had captured a few bounty hunters from a far off planet and was having a marvellous time torturing them.

It seemed that everyone but Darkseid had something to do. Darkseid did not like that one bit. So he rounded up Steppenwolf, Granny Goodness and Desaad with a very simple instruction: the Justice League.

Darkseid wanted at least one of them alive, brought to Apokolips. He would bend the one to his will and use them to trap the others, then convert them all into his ultimate army. Darkseid realised that instead of killing the Justice League, it would be far more satisfying to see them become the very thing they would’ve hated more than anything.

As Darkseid took his leave, Steppenwolf, Desaad and Granny Goodness argued among themselves as to whom would be the most successful in completely the special task Darkseid had laid out for them. They argued quite a bit on the subject before deciding on a few ground rules.

Each one of them can select up to two members to ensnare and no one can ensnare the other’s would be target. Granny would focus on capturing Wonder Woman and/or Superman while Steppenwolf had both Batman and/or Aquaman in his sights. Desaad then decided on trying to ensnare the Flash but with only a few hours until Christmas Day, and the whole planet fixating on someone called Santa Claus, the three of them didn’t have long. 

Then the three of them opened up a boom tube, located their would be targets and went off. Darkseid watched them, hoping that they would at least be able to bring back one member of the Justice League but at the same time, he also thinking of ways in which he could humiliate them when they likely failed the task. 

A few hours had passed and Granny Goodness had been flung into through the boom tube by Wonder Woman’s lasso. The Amazon had smiled as the tube closed and Granny landed square at Darkseid’s feet. Darkseid looked at his squad leader in disappointment.

“And I was expecting you to be the one to bring me back the Amazon,” Darkseid muttered in disapproval. “Such a shame. She would’ve made such an excellent second in command for your Furies, dear.”

“I can go back,” Granny protested, rising to her feet. She might have been defeated but she was determined not to take it lying down. “There’s still time.”

“Not for you, Granny,” Darkseid said darkly, looking at his wrist, though he had no watch. The point was still enough for Granny to get. “There’s a field north from here full of those rebels who tried to escape the other week. They need graves. You know what to do.”

Granny wanted to protest. She was a squad leader to be feared. She broke and moulded so many minds to her will, to Darkseid’s will. She was a lot more than a mere gravedigger but yet her failure to capture the Amazon and the Man of Steel would mean that she would now have to spend Christmas on Apokolips burying rebels whose names she hadn’t even bothered to learn as they were so insignificant to her.

As Granny was given a shovel by a serving girl, she took her leave in a huff to carry out her mundane duty. As she disappeared from Darkseid’s sight, the boom tube opened for a second time, this time with Steppenwolf falling through. Darkseid had gotten the briefest of glimpses of Batman before the boom tube shut once again.

Kneeling, Steppenwolf looked ashamed and defeated, his helmet shattered and a batarang sticking out of his right elbow that Darkseid wasted no time in pulling out with as little regard for his uncle’s wellbeing as possible.

“At least Granny had the misfortune of going up against an Amazon and a Kryptonian,” Darkseid smirked, taking particular satisfaction in his uncle’s failure. “Are you really telling me that you couldn’t outsmart a billionaire who has a few fancy toys?”

“It wasn’t just the Batman,” Steppenwolf stammered, feeling the embarrassment as well as anger of seeing his nephew taking such pleasure in his failings. “I nearly had the Atlantean but his army of sea creatures. There were too many.”

“Excuse after excuse after excuse,” Darkseid raised a hand in dismissal. “I grow weary of this.”

“I can make this right, there’s still time my Lord. Give me one more hour and I’ll bring in as many Justice League members as you want,” Steppenwolf exclaimed, hoping to appeal to some sliver of mercy from Darkseid. He even put his hands together to beg. Darkseid did not care.

“You can tend to the pets down below,” Darkseid said in response. “It’s nearly dinner time and they get ever so hungry. Do be careful to make sure you don’t get too close to them. I’d hate for you to become their dinner. You probably wouldn’t agree with their stomachs.”

Steppenwolf felt completely dejected in that moment. He didn’t even look at Darkseid as he left to go feed the pets. Darkseid could tell that Steppenwolf was probably planning something in his mind but at the moment, he did not care. There was just one more failure to punish. If Granny Goodness and Steppenwolf couldn’t bring him a Justice League member for Christmas, then Desaad had no hope. 

The thing is, who would I get to torture my best torturer on this planet? Darkseid wondered to himself as the boom tube opened for a third and final time. I’ll probably have to do it myself.

Except this time, there was something different. Desaad had stepped through the tube of his own volition and worse than that, he was happy. The mere sight of that was enough to make Darkseid want to kill him on the spot. Could he have actually done it?

“I’ve got a gift for you, my Master,” Desaad grinned proudly. Darkseid noticed that Desaad was holding onto a leash of some kind. 

Darkseid looked on in anticipation as Desaad yanked the leash and through the boom tube did stand a member of the Justice League – well, technically a member but not the one that Darkseid had remotely considered worth capturing. 

“Are you serious?” Darkseid asked Desaad with incredulity. “Him?”

Standing in front of both Darkseid and Desaad was in fact Snapper Carr, his hands bound tightly behind his back and gagged with duct tape. As Snapper took in his new surroundings and the very ones he was now standing in front of, only two words sprung to mind.

“Oh crap!”


	2. Chapter 2

Snapper Carr couldn’t believe his luck. He had been doing some festive preparations at the Hall of Justice when a boom tube had materialised and Desaad had stepped out of it. When the latter had realised it was just Snapper by himself, instead of exiting in defeat and braving whatever punishment Darkseid had intended for him, Desaad just grabbed the young man and hoped for the best.

Darkseid on the other hand looked far from impressed as to who was standing before him. Snapper could only look on as the boom tube closed and along with it, his chance for escape.

“I said a member of the Justice League,” Darkseid boomed in annoyance, barely registering Snapper’s presence. Instead his eyes were beginning to redden a little and Desaad looked nervous.

“I took the direct approach my Lord,” Desaad stammered, clutching onto Snapper a little tighter and dragging the young man closer to him. “I went to the Hall of Justice. It was only him.”

Snapper realised quickly that Desaad had positioned him in front of Darkseid. He wasn’t impressed with the torturer either.

“And in your approach, you decide to grab this worthless human?” Darkseid looked at Snapper briefly before moving him aside so that he could face Desaad. “Even Granny and my own nephew chose not to insult by bringing back no-one of consequence.”

“Technically he is a member,” Desaad said, grabbing Snapper’s phone from his pocket and pulling up an image. 

Darkseid looked at the image. It was a group photo of the Justice League with Snapper in it as an honorary member. They had thrown him a surprise party. Desaad was desperately hoping this technicality would ultimately spare him a dire fate. 

“An honorary member?” Darkseid inquired, grabbing the leash that Desaad had been holding and pulling Snapper Carr towards him. “Isn’t that interesting?”

Snapper said nothing as Darkseid removed the tape from his mouth harshly. Snapper winced but stared at Darkseid, mainly because the latter had the leash in a way that it was impossible to look away from him.

“Tell me, Mr Carr, what powers do you possess?” Darkseid asked. 

If I could teleport the hell away from here, I’d have done it already, Snapper thought to himself grimly. Darkseid looked at him impatiently.

“I’d answer him if I were you,” Desaad interjected. “Our Lord, Darkseid does not ask twice.”

Snapper was stumped. If he pretended to have some kind of superpower or non human origin, it wouldn’t be long until he was exposed but if he did indeed confirm that he was a worthless human as Darkseid had bluntly put it, then he was probably going to be killed. His options weren’t good. Then again, if he continued to say nothing, Darkseid would also execute him on the spot, so he needed to find some way of keeping himself alive. 

“Why do I need to possess powers in order to be worthy of something?” Snapper countered, before turning towards Desaad in disdain. “Are you of any use?”

“I am the chief torturer of Apokolips,” Desaad said proudly. “I’m a valuable member of my Lord’s elite command. You are a glorified secretary for a bunch of do gooders.”

“Isn’t that just a fancy term for ‘playground bully?’” Snapper fired back. “I’ve had plenty of run ins with bullies. They talk big, but that’s usually because they have to overcompensate.”

“How dare you!” Desaad shrieked, forgetting himself and in the moment was about to strike Snapper in retaliation. He soon remembered his place when Darkseid struck him first, something which both shocked Desaad and Snapper in equal measure.

“The young man has a point,” Darkseid said coolly, giving Desaad a cold look. “You are something of a bully, though one of my employ. And seeing as that’s what you do best, I will spare you a punishment.”

“Oh, thank you, my Lord,” Desaad said graciously. Snapper found the whole thing embarrassing. 

Desaad gave Snapper a look to suggest that he would be torturing him soon as he snuck off back to his own quarters to do what he was best at doing.

Alone with each other, Darkseid removed the leash around Snapper’s neck and untied his hands. As Snapper rubbed his wrists, he could see that there were guards by the only chance of escape he might have had. 

“You were right about playground bullies,” Darkseid said, coming towards him and grabbing him by the hair. Snapper could see that his eyes were now fully red.

“Now let’s see if you’re right about secretaries, young man.”


	3. Chapter 3

Snapper’s mind had gone back to the Hall of Justice. Prior to Desaad appearing through a boom tube and dragging him to this hellish world that he desperately wanted to get out, he had been arranging a Christmas Party for the League. 

It might not have been a world saving event but after a less than glowing year, Snapper had felt it was the very thing everyone needed. He knew they wouldn’t agree but eventually they would thank him for it. 

Darkseid had taken Snapper on a tour around Apokolips with several Parademons flying above them in case Snapper had gotten any funny ideas. Every time Darkseid tried to press him for information regarding the League and their plans for him, Snapper would try and change the subject. This didn’t go unnoticed by Darkseid.

“You’re trying my patience, Mr Carr,” Darkseid said, his eyes glowing red. Snapper did his best to stand his ground.

“All I was asking was if this gloomy planet had a concept of Christmas,” Snapper replied sharply, feeling a chill, in spite of the fact that he was walking around somewhere that had plenty of fire and a river of lava that he could be thrown into without a moment’s hesitation.

“Do I show disrespect toward your planet’s look?” Darkseid asked, insulted by the young man’s comment. That surprised him. Why would he care what a feeble human male would think of his world?

“No, you just have a tendency to try and enslave it from time to time,” Snapper shot back dryly. “Usually failing too might I add.”

“I’m beginning to see why your ‘friends’ relegate you to a desk,” Darkseid gave him a cold look. “If any my underlings dare speak to me in that manner, I would’ve made them eat their own tongue.”

“I’m not going to give you what you want,” Snapper countered. He stopped moving, folded his arms. What he was going to do next was either going to be the bravest thing he ever did or the very thing that would definitely ensure his death. 

“What makes you think you have a choice in this?”

“I saw the look you gave Desaad when I came in through the boom tube,” Snapper said as he began to circle the tyrant. “Disappointment. You’re not the first to give me that look and I don’t think you’ll be the last.”

“You assume you’re going to live, boy,” Darkseid said in disgust. “Your arrogance doesn’t suit.”

“I’m used to people underestimating me, not liking me and I’m used to being threatened by people like you,” Snapper continued. “I don’t like any of it myself and I especially don’t like you, but I would rather die right here, right now. You can kill me all you want, but you’re not going to use me as bait or any kind of tactical advantage.”

“If you insist,” Darkseid smiled, amused by the young man’s bravado, but also determined to crush it. His eyes were beginning to light up. He was going to incinerate Snapper Carr on the spot. This stupid young man was about to become dust. 

And then something happened. Instead of hitting Snapper Carr and reducing him to the pile of dust that he should’ve been, Darkseid killed two of his own Parademons on the spot while the others shrieked in fear and confusion.

Snapper had closed his eyes and covered himself with his hands, only to realise that he was still in one piece. 

“What the hell just happened?” Snapper asked, looking to see that a boom tube was beginning to open in front of him.

“You asked if this planet had a concept of Christmas, Mr Carr,” Darkseid said, his voice almost sounding to as close as pleasant as he could probably manage. “It doesn’t but this one day, I will spare your worthless existence if you do me the kindness and leave Apokolips at once.”

“You’re not going to kill me?” Snapper was still confused but he also started to walk closer towards the boom tube, seeing the Hall of Justice on the other side. “Why?”

“I said I wasn’t going to kill you today,” Darkseid put a lot of emphasis on that last word, before smiling and it was not a pleasant smile. “The next time I see you, I will tear you apart with my bare hands. Consider that your Christmas gift, boy.”

Snapper didn’t respond as Darkseid pushed him through the boom tube, closing it quickly before he changed his mind.

He was not sure why he chose to spare the stupid human but he definitely wouldn’t when their paths would likely meet again. Apokolips was about to have a concept of Christmas, just not one that humanity itself would approve of. Today was the day that Darkseid would celebrate that concept. After all, he would have another year at his disposal to bring the Earth to it’s knees but for today, he was thankful for Apokolips, if nothing else.

\---- The End ----


End file.
